Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Panarama Mall.






Panarama Jeans.



A famous celebrity wore jeans JUST LIKE THESE a while back an paid an obscene price for them. Apparently they're only $16.99 at the Panarama Mall.

So, what I'm about to say should come as no surprise to anyone who knows me or is in the process of getting to know me.
In the words of the late, great Freddy Mercury, I am quite the "fat bottomed girl".
Big legged and fat bottomed, without a doubt.
Not to sound crude or inappropriate, but it's true!
And, I say this with the utmost amount of pride and respect for my body.
It is what it is and, luckily, I've never been made to feel bad about it so it's never really effected me in a negative way.
But, in the world of fashion, particularly jean fashion, I always felt left out.
Jean shopping for me was always horrible.
It was the same sequence each time.
I'd get the guts to go in some chain clothing store, try on almost EVERY cut and nothing ever worked out for my bum.
And if I did find something that looked "all right", the price was always too obscene for me. They're pants.
Not a single apartment in Los Feliz.
Pants.
So my quest for jeans was cut short and I just stuck to adorable vintage dresses.
But every once and a while I'd see a fellow full bottomed lady and notice that her jeans fit her perfectly!
Like butter.
And not only that, but it seemed that she could move in them.
Maybe do a high kick, and not rip at the seams!
This left me in a blunder.
Where on earth were these ladies getting there jeans?
Yes, every once and a while they were a bit too bedazzled for me, but for the most part they were EXACTLY what I was looking for.
I sat on the wifey's bed, dreaming about those body hugging jeans, and when I mentioned them his reply was simple and to the point.
"Panarama Mall".
Oh, where for art thou, Panarama Mall?
Built some time in the late 70's, with an unchanged sign to prove it, the Panarama Mall is located in Panarama City.
Inside you will find discount clothing, endless jewellers and JEANS.
Well fitted, inexpensive, STRETCHY jeans.
One particular store, Fashion Nova, has a slew of jean colors and styles catering to the fuller lady who's tired of dealing with stiff fabrics and waistlines that pop out.
You know what I'm talking about.
I highly recommend all women, of ALL shapes and sizes, to take a visit to this mall.
It will blow your mind.
If you think you're lost just take a look at the mannequins.
If they are built like they've eaten a cheeseburger or two in their life, you're in the right place.
Thank you Panarama Mall for your jeans and thanks mom and dad, for those other genes.

3 comments:

  1. I know exactly what you are talking about. I wish they had this store when I was in high school. : ) I always told myself why do I look odd in jeans and everybody else so cute. Well the answer was I had a BUTT.The worst thing to see is a butt being smashed by jeans. Trust me girls don't do it. Thanks for the info.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm pretty sure it's PanOrama*

    I love you, I just thought you should know.

    Thank you for the shout out, I didn't realize until an older age how cool it actually is to be raised in the ghetto. I used resent it, but now I embrace it. I am so full of so much useless... oh wait, I'm sorry... VERY USEFUL INFORMATION!

    Now you NEED to make a post about raspados espressssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Raspados!!!!! + Fat bottomed stretch Jeans = Happiness

    ReplyDelete